musings and essays

before the “dayjob,” OR being true to yourself first


This one – this is what I’m working on before I go into work today. I work at 11am today which is later than usual, but this making time before work for myself has become a wonderful practice in prioritizing what I really want to do to be me over, well, other things that come next. My “dayjob” is a necessity right now, but also does bring its own rewards — I work in reading remediation. It really can be quite wonderful to help people read to their full potential, and it’s nice to work with people and share energy and laughs along the way — a path that is also sometimes very tough.

So, as I go on in life I have started to really pay attention to that idea that we could really serve ourselves best by doing something that we love, something that is true to us, that make us feel most ourselves, first in the day – whether it be for 4 minutes or 40minutes. I know this can seem like a privilege, but I am really starting to believe it is a practice like anything — we need to believe we can do it, that we can put it into place, even if it is for a tiny bit of time.

What do I want most? What do I want most for myself? I want to be myself. And right now that means giving myself this time to create. To let this energy that is inside of me out; to express myself. I am realizing more and more that doing this helps me with EVERYTHING in the rest of my day and so my life! Making, creating, using and letting out that energy that is me brings me clarity, brings me peace, brings me joy – that time with myself that is unlike other space and time lends to contemplation, quiet, questions and conversation with myself, wonder — it reminds me of mediation in that stuff comes up that might be bothering me, or just that I need to address – it helps me get clear with myself and that helps me to be more honest with myself, and so with others. I think somehow, early on, I realized that creating stuff brought me to all of that; that creating was a catalyst to all of that expression and great stuff for me as a person — so along the way I a make stuff, and that is actually a sort of by-product of being true to myself and a representation of that process, which, I think is sort of cool.

I hope you get to spend time with yourself — strike that, strike “get” — I hope you make time for yourself, even just a little bit, everyday. So here’s to before the “dayjob,” here’s to what we’re all doing to live and be. Here’s to you. Here’s to all of us doing out best to be true to ourselves!


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